A little reinforcement from Marie Claire.

6-SECOND RULES FOR LOOKING 5 POUNDS SKINNIER

Wear V-necks, long necklaces, low-slung belts: anything that draws the eye up and down the body. Avoid boatnecks, chokers, tightly cinched belts, and ankle-strap shoes: These create horizontal lines, which make you appear squat. It's similar to the idea that pinstriped pants make you look longer and sailor-striped tops make you look wider, says Elycia Rubin, co-author of Frumpy to Foxy in 15 Minutes Flat.

Stick with matte fabrics like cotton and wool. Skip satin and other light-reflecting materials, which enhance your body size.

Pair flesh-tone heels with all skirts. Heels always make you look slimmer; a pair that matches your skin tone makes legs look like they go on for miles.

Wear a curvy jacket. A jacket that nips in at the waist creates an hourglass figure without hugging too tightly, says Rubin. Layer over a cami that falls a few inches below it for a lean look.

Balance full with fitted. Pairing a flowing top with loose fitting pants only makes you look heavier. Better to match a big top with narrow bottoms or a body-hugging shirt with something roomier down below.

Hiatus: ended

The first in a series of fashion faux pas: a trip to the Arizona Desert Museum.

What is wrong with this outfit? Let me count the ways.

1. The shoes. Terrible, terrible shoes. They are shapeless, frumpy and scream "pre-pioneer era Native American." Even at the Desert Museum, it isn't a desirable look. They make her calves look fat, because her pants are stuffed into them and...
2. Her pants are too tight. See the crease on the back of the butt and thigh? It's a tell-tale sign that she needs to go up a size. The pants hug her thighs all the way around and her knees have made little indentations in the pants.
3. The shirt she's wearing on top is shapeless. It looks floppy and thus makes her body look floppy. The wrinkles accentuate her pudgy stomach and small chest. The sleeves aren't long enough, which makes her arms look fat.

The Scariest Slippers

Food for thought: these are made for wearing in the privacy of your home. But would you want to?


"Monique" by Bonjour Fleurette ($69.95 on zappos.com)










"Hairball" by Sanuk ($29.95 on zappos.com)
The name explains it all.








"Glamour II" by Daniel Green ($49.95 on zappos.com)









"Coquette" by Ugg ($78.95 on zappos.com)










"Fiesta" by Acorn ($53.95 on zappos.com)










"Easy Traveler" by Acorn ($50.95 on zappos.com)












"Cheyenne" by Woolrich ($35.95 on zappos.com)

Friday Top Fifteen

Greetings! This Friday is a rundown of 15 of the ugliest pairs of shoes I could find (keep in mind there are countless thousands more out there, but I don't have the time or energy to hunt them all down). They are in no particular rank or order--I found them all disturbing.
Happy gagging!







"Jennifer" by Fitzwell ($35.95 on zappos.com)
Tee-hee!







"Y6520" by Tapeet by Vicini ($328.95 on zappos.com)
I just don't get it.









"Ugar" by Robert Clergerie ($498.95 on zappos.com)
These are so ugly I can't stand it. Who would even think to purchase these from a thrift store?








"Crystal" by dollhouse ($108.95 on zappos.com)
...









"Mohawk" by Elle ($203.95 on zappos.com)
They certainly are rustic-looking, aren't they?











"7917" by Vigotti ($29.95 on zappos.com)
Words cannot express what I am feeling at this moment.









"Gorgeous" by Annie ($44.95 on zappos.com)
It's even got rhinestones!!!









"Pizzaz" by Steve Madden ($83.95 on zappos.com)
All this shoe is good for is gagging (at it, hopefully not on it...please).









"Sadie" by DKNY ($298.95 on zappos.com)
Hehe!








"Adora" by NaNa ($73.95 on zappos.com)
A little something for the hooker in all of us.









"Mandalay" by John Fluevog ($216.95 on zappos.com)
I literally gagged. Ack.
They bred a Dutch clog with...with... ... see, I'm speechless. Ack.









"663904" by Marc by Marc Jacobs ($253.95 on zappos.com)
It's so...colorful.










"Blizzard" by akademiks ($148.95 on zappos.com)
They mummified it.
Another reason you should never trust a company that spells its name wrong (hint: the correct spelling of the word is a-c-a-d-e-m-i-c-s, academics).









"Downtown" by Ugg ($143.95 on zappos.com)
All I can say is, "WHY???"













"4794 Vivienne" by Fornarina ($203.95 at zappos.com)
This is the "lovely" plum hue...it also comes in burgundy and black!

Fairly Attractive Winter footwear

WARNING: None of the shoes below are made of synthetic materials. Your feet will not shrink, sweat, turn green, smell, die or whatever it is they do in plastic/"man made upper" shoes.


"Not Even" by Kenneth Cole Reaction ($72.95 at zappos.com)
Jeans or slacks (just make sure they're long enough).










"R7859" by Lumiani ($29.95 at zappos.com)
This shoe would work well under jeans or slacks, and maybe with a flirty (but not poufy) knee-length skirt.








"Cos I'm Hot" by Kenneth Cole Reaction ($201.95 on zappos.com)
Yes, I actually think this is attractive. Do not wear it with a skirt, capri pants, a dress or any item of clothing other than jeans or dark colored slacks. The pointed toe and thin heel make this boot more attractive than your "run of the mill" honkey-tonk clunkers (which many sorority and wannabe-sorority girls seem to love wearing with mini skirts. Gag.).





"Flo" by Anne Klein New York ($403.95 on zappos.com)
This is an incredibly attractive (and expensive) shoe for going out. It's a classic color (that can go with just about anything, just so long as you're not wearing metallic colors anywear other than your handbag or jewelry) and style, and doesn't look like it would be terribly uncomfortable.

Quality vs. Quantity

Where do you shop?
The question is important, simply because it says a lot about what you're wearing. If you shop at stores with lower prices (Target, Wal-Mart, JC Penneys, etc.), you're getting what you pay those cheap prices for: cheap clothing. If you are shopping at places where you pay a little more for your clothes, they will be higher quality and they will last longer.
More homes of poor quality clothing: Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, The Gap, Old Navy, (insert mall store name here).
This goes for other things too, not just clothing. Cover Girl=cheap price, =cheap quality. This isn't a tirade against the people who buy these things, but rather a warning, a bit of advice. If you want to look nice, and if you want clothing that will (probably, if you get the right size) fit you better and last longer, you need to put down some more money for it.

The moral of the day: you pay for what you get.

Serious Fashion Blunders

Some fashion blunders I have encountered repeatedly, that make me shudder every time:

1. UGG BOOTS. Why? Why am I so adamantly against these hideous things? Everyone's wearing them, right? That's because everyone hasn't looked at themselves in the mirror while wearing ugg boots, obviously. Ugg boots are large and shapeless. They are fat. How does that reflect on the person who is wearing them? If the person is average sized to large, ugg boots make her (or his, in rare cases) legs look shapeless, fat and short. If the person is thin, the ugg boots are usually wider than the legs and thus you have the illusion of toothpick legs. Need I say more? Some people say they're comfortable. I don't think image self-sacrifice is worth "comfort." Bah!

2. Shrug sweaters. They are short, and most of them are rounded in the front. Large women wear them under the impression that they will look slimmer in these things. Nope. They look rounder, and like they have less of an hour-glass figure. You get more of a butterball turkey look. And on average to thin women? They just look silly. Come on now, it looks like you couldn't afford a whole sweater.

3. Wide-leg capris (aka gaucho pants). Not only are they usually made out of the same material as sweatpants (on the University of Arizona campus, anyway), they have a weird flat stomach panel thing. And guess what these do to your rear end? It looks larger than life, and shapeless--and that's not just because most women have that sort of rear. These pants are shapeless, creating a shapeless image for the wearer. Comfort, you say? Ugly rear-view is what you're really getting out of it.